I had originally omitted this from the blog for various reasons, but now I'm thinking I'd probably be remiss if I excluded it from the official record. Today is July 6, but I originally wrote this on May 15 in response to a message board post from someone who had always wanted a girl but found out she was having a boy.
Yes. We're having a boy. All indications are that he is 100% healthy, and I am definitely thrilled about that. And it's not so much that I always *wanted* a girl, just that I always just thought that's what I would end up with. I expected a girl.
I had been gravitating toward more girly things in clothes & bedding, all of the babies in both of our families have been girls for the last 20 years. I haven't been around a baby boy for more than 2 hours at a time in YEARS. I just figured I wouldn't know what to do with a boy! (I guess I'll have to figure it out!)
I have visions of house destruction, pee on the floor, later verbalization and potty training, you name it. I didn't know what to do with a male baby, toddler, gradeschooler, pubescent, teenager, or adult!
But a couple of things made me feel better:
*First, how incredibly lucky I am to have a healthy baby. I knew it before, but it never hurts to remind myself over and over.
*Second (and most of all), that I probably would have been saying the same things about a girl! Freaking out that, despite my best efforts, she would only want dolls and to play princesses, that she'd be afraid to get dirty, that she'd feel pigeonholed by society, that she'd hate me as a teenager, that she'd get knocked up, etc. I think knowing the sex just made the whole thing that much more real, and THAT is maybe what I'm really freaking out about.
*Third, I started thinking of the boy children I did know. My friend Danielle has 2 boys, 4yo and 1yo. They're adorable! The 4yo is hilarious and affectionate. The 1yo is so cute. I also know 3 other people with adorable baby boys! Mostly, they're even very good babies (only cry when hungry, happy, smiley, cute).
*Fourth, I figure there's a good chance he'll turn out like Dennis, which wouldn't be a bad thing at all!
* Fifth, I know the second I see him for the first time, I will fall completely in love and not think about baby girls for one more second.
Seriously. I've had some very ridiculous thoughts. I even felt sorry for him for a while because he was going to have to live with this nasty penis attached to him. (I chalked this up to standard irrational pregnancy thoughts.) Dennis cracked up when I told him that and reminded me (as if I didn't already know) that lots of people manage to live just fine lives in spite of (or because of) their penis.
I'm glad I found out when I did, because I think I needed the extra 22 weeks to get used to the idea!
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My god. I had precisely the same thoughts, almost down to your wording. What I can tell you is that it won't matter at all for the first year. And that the thing about falling in love with him is true too. I think my biggest worry at this point is that we won't be close when he is an adult, that his wife won't like me (assuming he is not gay, which would be absolutely fine and dandy with me because it would solve this problem), and so forth.
The other thing I can say is that when you see nonoffensive clothes, stock up (H&M is a good place for plain shirts with no pictures or words). Most boy clothes from 18-24 months and up are so freaking butch they make me want to puke.
But I'm sure you know these feelings are totally normal and at least one other mother of a boy out there has had them.
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